Vows Don’t Have to Be Cringe…
How to Write Words That Feel Like You
Let’s talk about wedding vows for a sec.
I know the moment you realise you have to write them can bring on the panic. Cue the Google search: “how to write wedding vows without sounding awkward” or “do I really need to be a poet to get married?” (Spoiler: you don’t.)
As a modern celebrant based in Melbourne, one of the things I get asked all the time is:
“What if I don’t know what to say?”
And here’s my favourite answer:
You already know what to say you’ve just never had to say it quite like this before.
So if you’re worried about writing personal wedding vows that don’t sound cringey, cliché or like they were copied off Pinterest in 2011… I’ve got you.
Let’s break it down together.
First Things First: Your Vows Are for You Two
Your vows aren’t a performance. They’re a moment. They’re the few minutes you get to speak directly to your person, in front of your people (or just your celebrant, if you're eloping), and say:
“This is how much I love you and here’s how I’m showing up for us.”
They don’t need to sound poetic. They don’t need to follow a script. And they definitely don’t need to start with “from this day forward” (unless that’s your vibe).
You just need to make them sound like you.
📝 Vow Writing Tips That Actually Help
If you're sitting with a blank screen and blinking cursor, start here:
💬 1. Talk, Don’t Write (Yet)
Voice note yourself or talk it out with a friend. What would you say about your partner if you were just having a convo over coffee or wine? Sometimes speaking out loud helps the truth come easier than writing.
💭 2. Think About the “Whys”
Why do you love them? Why are you choosing them? Why do you believe in your future together? These are gold nuggets that belong in your vows.
😂 3. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Funny
Humour is beautiful when it’s real. If you fell in love over memes, survived reno stress, or still argue over who loads the dishwasher wrong you can mention that. It’s your story.
📚 4. Start With a Structure
Here’s a simple vow formula that works for a lot of couples:
A moment you knew they were “the one”
What you love about them
What you promise to do (or keep doing)
Something sweet or cheeky to close it off
Still stuck? As your celebrant, I help you brainstorm, edit, or even structure your vows (yes, vow coaching is totally a thing in my world).
✨ Real Talk: You Can’t Get It Wrong
You don’t need to write the “perfect” vow. You just need to be honest. The best vows I’ve heard weren’t polished they were heartfelt. They had real personality.
One groom once said, “I vow to never judge your true crime obsession, even when it freaks me out.”
Another bride promised, “I’ll keep being your biggest fan, even when you forget where you parked.”
And let me tell you, people felt that. They laughed, they cried, they felt connected. That’s what it’s all about.
🙋♀️ Can We Skip the Vows Altogether?
Yep, totally. If the thought of reading something out loud gives you hives, there are plenty of ways to honour your promises differently:
Write private vows to each other and read them before the ceremony
Keep it short and sweet (a few lines is enough!)
Let me share your story instead, and keep the spoken vows simple and legal
As a celebrant who values personal wedding vows that actually feel real, I’ll help you find a vibe that feels comfortable and authentic to you.
Ready to Get Writing?
Whether you’ve got full sentences or just a few scattered thoughts, know this:
You don’t have to sound like a poet. You just have to sound like yourself.
And if you need a cheerleader (or an editor, or a hype girl), I’m already in your corner.
💌 Ready to chat about your ceremony? Let’s connect here
📸 Need more vow inspo? Come hang out @marriedbymaddi
You bring the love—I’ll help you say it beautifully.
Maddi x
